The guano that fertilized their grass roots

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Saturday November 27, 2010 · 8:10 PM PST

2010/11/27 · 20:10

An LA Times investigation into the financial roots of the Tea Party movement reveals this rigor mortus-driven insurrection is about as grassroots as it is thoughtful. According to the article, campaigns spent four-hundred million dollars in November’s elections on "experienced political operatives--not fervent newcomers." In the Delaware Valley’s media market, we were burdened with the outputs of their expertise in the form of faux-populist ads intended to further stoke the European-American outrage incited by Fox News.

The article highlights the direct ties between the financiers who paid media firms to help cast this spell on the tea party sheep and the very GOP cable TV outfit that directs all incoming traffic to their brains:

Bob Sackamento

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Thursday September 09, 2010 · 7:49 PM PDT

2010/09/09 · 19:49

I fled the South over three years ago, and, since then, I periodically took pride in hearing my hometown mentioned in the news. I beamed when I heard Obama took Alachua County by a huge margin in the primaries (the so-called Reagan Democrats in that area teem like locusts, so I wasn’t optimistic about his chances). And, of course, my alma mater, UF, made me proud with national championship and "don’t tase me bro..." That’s my hometown, I’d often boast to my Philadelphian friends.

But this recent episode and the resulting media attention for Gainesville horrifies me. Every time I hear "Gainesville" from the lips of the national media now, I cringe. Which is why I desperately need more of this in my news intake:

Bob Sackamento

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Saturday April 03, 2010 · 7:53 PM PDT

2010/04/03 · 19:53

Right now, many of my fellow liberals are ingesting a dish I just reluctantly forced down my throat like a GOP talking point: crow. And our meal is being served to us by none other than the loathsome Bill O'Reilly.

In his zealous pursuit of fairness and balance, Bill O'Reilly has accomplished the unimaginable--Chef Bill has discovered an African American tea partier.

Bob Sackamento

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Wednesday March 31, 2010 · 10:32 AM PDT

2010/03/31 · 10:32

Yes, it's true, I was pen-palling around with a Greerorist who is now the subject of a corruption investigation in Florida.

During the election, Florida GOP chairman Jim Greer reached out to me via yahoo and, instead of reflexively marking his e-mail as "spam," I electronically took his outstretched hand, clicked reply, and we became instant, lifelong frenemies. Our story features elements of the touching but true tale of an innocent little girl who became pen pals with Noriega, where I am the little girl and Jim Greer is the international pariah, Noriega. Jimbo initiated the correspondence, and I had no idea how he got my e-mail address. Nonetheless, I was happy to oblige my new, unsolicited pen pal.

As some of our correspondence indicates, we really hit it off:

Bob Sackamento

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Thursday September 24, 2009 · 5:42 PM PDT

2009/09/24 · 17:42

When I took the grave risk of switching channels to CNN this evening, I was handsomely rewarded with the dramatic spectacle of Michael Moore hoisting Wolf Blitzer on his own proverbial petard. Wolf set himself up for the hoist by tossing out one of the most inane questions ever asked by a newsperson in the history of broadcast media—a question that, not surprisingly, I’ve heard just about every other self-loathing journalist interviewing Michael Moore in the past 24 hours ask him.

In Wolf’s et al.’s own words:

Let’s talk about...most people who are going to see this movie who don’t like you are going to say, "you know what, Michael Moore has done pretty well in this free-market, capitalist system—you’ve become a fairly rich guy yourself."

Bob Sackamento

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Monday June 29, 2009 · 12:57 PM PDT

2009/06/29 · 12:57

Of course, they were supposed to greet us with those flowers, not our exit. Flowers are flowers, though! According to Reuters, the US troops are finally vacating Baghdad and leaving in their wake a stream of jubilant Iraqis overjoyed with the long-awaited departure:

BAGHDAD (Reuters) – U.S. troops pulled out of Baghdad on Monday, triggering jubilation among Iraqis hopeful that foreign military occupation is ending six years after the invasion to depose Saddam Hussein.

Iraqi soldiers paraded through the streets in their American-made vehicles draped with Iraqi flags and flowers, chanting, dancing and calling the pullout a "victory."

One drove a motorcycle with party streamers on it; another, a Humvee with a garland of plastic roses on the grill.

Bob Sackamento

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Sunday April 12, 2009 · 3:57 AM PDT

2009/04/12 · 03:57

As the Prop 8 vote drew near, Rick Warren eagerly pimped himself out to the Prop 8 movement (detailed by BarbinMD earlier last week). In a strange twist, though, he found himself on Larry King Live Monday distancing himself from none other than Rick Warren, as he denied supporting the anti-gay movement during last year’s election. It was a purpose-driven waffle that contrasted starkly with his own words.

Bob Sackamento

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Wednesday March 25, 2009 · 3:01 AM PDT

2009/03/25 · 03:01

To date, over 30,000 US troops have been wounded while fighting in Iraq. Many of them involved traumatic injuries that demanded intense, highly specialized medical care. While US forces benefit from the skills of world-class trauma surgeons, the high-tech hospital equipment these medical professionals depend on in the US doesn't accompany them to the Iraqi battlefield.

There, the operating rooms, which have come a long way, resemble the long metal bins used to collect trash at construction sites but with the added benefits of a roof and lighting:

Bob Sackamento

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Sunday March 15, 2009 · 5:50 PM PDT

2009/03/15 · 17:50

Yesterday, I made a new friend during a weekly celebration of Philly's beerliciousness. He worked in the same industry as me, had roots in the middle east like me, and was a damn interesting conversation (much like myself). Our highly-engaging discussion was only interrupted by the loud, unintelligible rants of some drunk guy two dozen feet away near the bar.

Brimming with a liquor-induced hunger for drama and confrontation, the token loudmouth stealthily emerged unannounced directly in my new friend's face. Completely out of the blue and sans introduction, he uttered the following to my friend:

"Let me guess, your name starts with an A."

(Incidentally, my name begins with an A; I'm Jewish). The bellicose harasser promptly moved on to "M" and several other letters before my new friend, mercifully, remarked that his name began with a "W."

But the drunk guy couldn't stop himself. He quickly and confidently declared, "It can only be Wassan. I have you pegged, don't I? I've been all over the world, and I know my shit." He didn't. After painfully watching the inebriated bigot make a complete ass out himself for a few excruciating moments longer, my friend finally gave up his name. It was Arabic, which left the racist feeling vindicated.

Bob Sackamento

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Saturday March 07, 2009 · 6:26 PM PST

2009/03/07 · 18:26

According to the Washington Post, the blundering GOP seeks to shift the target of their flailing desperation from Nancy Pelosi to President Obama. So far, their efforts include second guessing Obama's letter to the Russians (an act they would've decried as treason had the letter been written by Bush), hyperventilating over Obama's remarks on stock market fluctuations and denouncing Obama's tireless efforts to improve the sinking plight of American workers.

The GOP hopes their initial attacks on Obama help restore their facade as the party of fiscal discipline, but, in light of the astronomical debt they amassed during their reign, statements like the following brim with hilarious irony:

Bob Sackamento

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Tuesday March 03, 2009 · 5:19 PM PST

2009/03/03 · 17:19

The Washington Post reports on the tragic effects of the Republican party's cognitive dissonance:

By more than a two-to-one margin, Americans believe the Democratic Party is better suited to getting the country out of a recession over the Republican Party, according to the latest Wall Street Journal/NBC News poll to be released today.

Almost half of all respondents, 48%, identified the Democratic Party, while just one in five, or 20%, said the Republican Party. Some 8% said both parties were equally qualified, while 16% said neither party was qualified.

Bob Sackamento

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Monday March 02, 2009 · 6:41 PM PST

2009/03/02 · 18:41

Reuters reporters stumbled across the confused Senator from Arizona earlier today while covering Congressional politics. The press discovered the disheveled John McCain, who has been suffering from delusions of relevance, on the Senate floor.

According to one reporter at the scene, McCain offered the following rambling monologue:

In his pledge last September, President Obama said 'We need earmark reform and when I'm president I will go line by line to make sure we're not spending money unwisely,'" McCain said on the Senate floor.

"So what's brought to the floor today, 9,000 earmarks, billions and billions of dollars of unneeded and wasteful spending," he said.

(snip)

"If it sounds like I'm angry ... it's because I am," the fiery McCain said. "The American people want the Congress to act in a fiscally responsible manner."

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The guano that fertilized their grass roots

Now that’s the Gainesville I know and love!

BREAKING! O'Reilly discovers non-white tea-bagger in MO!

My pen pal is target of latest GOP-corruption probe

Michael Moore has his way with Wolf Blitzer again

Finally, those flowers we were promised! Update: Fireworks Reported!

Homophobes baffled as Warren backtracks towards Jesus.

Heroes reconstructing the faces of US and Iraqi heroes

"Let me guess, your name starts with an A."

WaPo: Sputtering, visionless GOP now targeting President Obama

WSJ Poll: America urges McCain, Limbaugh et al. to PISS OFF!

Dazed McCain found wandering aimlessly, babbling incoherently.